Currently Reading Under the Bridge : Stories and Poems by Manchester's Homeless By Ray Gamache see related

just a poem by a homeless man:

throwing poop at a person is fun

until that person tries to shoot me with a gun.

dont try to drink urine,

if i were cannibalistic i would eat david boren.

cardboard boxes dont keep me warm,

maybe if i duct taped a college kid to a cow i could sleep in his dorm.

my dogs hump alot,

i love shooting people with my snot.

this cop thinks he is so smart when he hits me in the head with his club,

he'll think twice when in turn his right arm into a nub.

bub 

Currently Playing Urine Idiot By Piss Drunks see related

At age 18 I lerned this: you are better off if you know what is in the keg before you drink out of it.  yeah those were the days when yours truly (skinny linney or however my name is spelled) love to drink all sorts of alchohol just for the simple joy of seeing midget chicks with DD's (tah tah's, milk lactating machines, grouping of fat over the pectoralis major, milk bubbles, jelly tee pees, cone shaped punching bags from heaven, whallybangers, woo hoos, opity wapitys, yipity doodahs, and finally also known as double d breasts) dont worry i am not perverted, i am homeless. back to the story... yeah at the ripe opity wapity (whoops) age of 18 i decided to go to my friends party and suck down some milk bubbles (sorry i'm homeless) i mean alcohol and have a good time. that is when i realized that i was the uncool one of the group.  shoot they made me feel so special by allowing me to test out this milk lactating machine (my burnt off nipples are getting to me) no i meant to test out this keg. cool for me right?? no not cool for me they had all pitched in  some of their filthy urine into this keg and i was going to soon find out what happens when you chug urine.  well to be perfectly honest all i remember was that i sipped something that tasted like a dead goat's scrotum mixed together with ran over cabbage- it was aweful. oh and after that i remember seeing a shovel come at me at quite a large velocity. two days later i woke up only to find cabbage and dead goats all over the place with me hung upside down. You might not believe this story but it is true... but i also breath in radiation on my street corner and pee neon sometimes, so i might of just had that story in a dream.

moral of the story... don't drink alchohol until urine comes into your mouth or you get so drunk people can hit you over the head with a shovel for fun and hang you upside down.

tah tahs!

skinny lenny 

Currently Playing Poop Mixed With Pee By Various Artists see related

Dang it this is what i have to eat every day: www.heptune.com/poop.html

i love you all,

skinny poopin lenny

Currently Playing Midgets With Guns By Pain see related

sweet 16 was not so sweet for me. i guess i will just start by saying that i was woken on my 16th burthday by my dog who was humping my face. that is usually cool, but this time it wasnt becuz my feet were stained in hines 57 dog urine.  oh wait things got worst.... i saw my foster parent naked! yeah she was dancin to some sort of boogie nights song.  ok so i had been awake for five minutes and i was already covered in dog urine and now my own throw up thanks to my foster parent bertha comitatus. after shooting bertha with a elephant tranquilizer i decided it was time to go get some waffles and pink lemonaid (i am black- people give me a break). right when i got there the circus midgets from hell decided to burn down waffle house for their scavenger hunt video. of all days they haf ta burn down my faverit resterant on my birthday. after telling the midgets that they were short fat ugly and white i decided to go to the mall and see a movie.  on the way i saw an old lady with one and a half legs and no eyes. she was trying to cross the street. that is when it hit me.... i had been seeking self indulgence all that time when i should of been looking after other people first. i mean it was my birthday and all but really shouldnt of hung my dog, shot bertha comitatus with a tranquilizer, or called the midgets short white and fat....I SHOULD OF KILLED THEM ALL... heh heh heh... umm i am actually kidding... i just really should of treated all of them like it was their birthday too, i mean a birthday is not that biga deal....its just another day in our lives.

love love love,

skinny freakin lenny 

Currently Playing Dead Stray Dog By Louisiana Red see related

Love... not nesessarily the word my grandmother new... i remember when i wuz 14... MY BALLS DROPPED THEN... it was cool... back to grandma.... she was old saggy and old... i remember her spanking me disaplinarily on the butt cheeks with her saggy old tits... they must of been made out of water balloons and silly putty. well anyway my grandma would go outside when she thought nobody wuz lookin and play dodgeball with her poor little chiwawa... obviously dogs cannot return a blow to the head, so it wuz super mean. i wunderd before then why she went through so many dogs in a year... so after dog 17 got a severe concussion caused by a dirty saggy old grandma pitch i had enough. she always sayed that she was just playing "fetch like we did in the great depression" (i think in the great depression the people actually murdered their dogs for food). that wuz not a good enough response so finally at dead dog 18 i found a football covered in skunk ejaculate. i threw it at her head, so i am not sure if she died from the fumes or the blow to the hed. haha grandma is dead! that is what she deserved for killing 18 dogs.

moral for today: dont do evil when you think people aren't looking, because someone always is. and number two is you really shouldn't kill your grandma because that's how i got homeless

i love you.

skinny lenny